


Tired

by wynnebat



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Internalized Homophobia, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Post-Hogwarts, consent issues due to love potions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-21 22:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3706575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wynnebat/pseuds/wynnebat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is something wrong with Ginny's expression when on one sunny day, two years after the end of the war, she gives Harry a cup of tea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tired

There is something wrong with Ginny's expression when on one sunny day, two years after the end of the war, she gives Harry a cup of tea. It isn't her smile, which is as sweet as ever; it isn't her eyes, which hold her love for him (and a dash of annoyance at him for staying up late to go over old cases once again); it isn't her hands, which don't shake. But there's still something different about her. Something brittle, anxious.

Harry wants to ask what's wrong, but it's late and he hasn't slept more than five hours in the past week. He's finally a full-fledged Auror, just like he's always wanted, but he hadn't realized just how much work it would be. When he's out in the field, saving innocents and breaking through crime and corruption, he feels alive. He feels whole and needed. He feels himself. But right now, all he feels is stress and tiredness.

He takes the cup with a smile and a, "thank you, love," and earns Ginny's smile in return. It's been too long since he's seen it; they've been busy lately. So busy that Harry's been trying to find ways to tell her that maybe, they should take a break.

It's not work that's prompted the issue, but that's how he justifies it to himself. It he's honest (but he can't be honest about this, not when there's Molly and Arthur and Ron and Hermione to think of, not when they've been dating for so long and have talked about the future), Harry hasn't felt the full bloom of love towards her since Hogwarts. He fell in love with her as a boy; he came back to her as a man who'd been through war, and he just wasn't the same. Neither were his feelings.

He came back a coward, too, because a stronger man would've told her instead of keeping silent.

But maybe Ginny's noticed his weakness, because she's been acting different in the past month. Both too close and distant, both overbearing and absent. If Harry were less busy or less conflicted, he would've asked. But he hasn't.

"I love you," Ginny says, just as Harry begins to sip from the cup.

The liquid pours down his throat as her words slip inside his ears. He finishes the cup through pure impulse and sets it down. When his eyes fall on Ginny again, her red hair and brown eyes are hypnotizing. Her freckles blind the world from his life. There is no paperwork or case that could compare.

"I love you, too," Harry says, and for the first time, he means it. He takes her to bed, when there's still love on his tongue and his mind, and it is beautiful.

The world makes sense in a way it never has. It is all so simple that Harry could cry. The world is Ginny, and that's all he needs. As he leaves for work the next morning, the feeling abates. He must concentrate on work now, not his girlfriend's beauty.

He's about to turn back home when there's a knock on his office door, and his boss soon steps inside with a cart of paperwork and an apologetic grin.

"You'll have your own rookies one day," he tells him.

Harry just groans.

He wants to see Ginny (so much more than he's ever wanted to see her in the past few months), but responsibility calls and he can't ignore it. He tells himself that he's doing it for their future, his and Ginny's, and regains his strength.

Four hours later, Harry feels a curious feeling overcome him, as though something has changed inside him. Dimly, he's aware that it's the same time that Ginny gave him the tea, those twenty-four hours ago.

His mind connects the pieces while his body can't move.

He's seen this before, of course. He's an Auror.

And yet, all he feels is tired. The drive that the love potion gave him has left him; he feels no urge to get home quickly to Ginny. He doesn't feel like going anywhere else, either; he doesn't want to turn up on Ron and Hermione's doorstep and say--what? His girlfriend gave him a love potion? The same girlfriend he's supposed to be in love with already? It's easier to just focus on the paperwork.

When he returns home, out of pure habit than true wish to be back, there's a cold cup of tea on the table. Next to it is a note of love and apology that she couldn't stay up to greet him.

Picking up the teacup is easier than dealing with the fact that this future isn't all that he's wanted it to be. It's easier than facing the fact that he doesn't love the woman he's with. It's easier than acknowledging the fact that maybe, he won't ever be able to truly love a woman, not in the way a straight man would.

In the end, gulping down the teacup is as easy as falling in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Complete; no sequel planned.


End file.
